gritsinmisery:

would-you-like-a-jelly-baby:

timelordtechnology:

pride1289:

intotheeyeofaduck:

themaster23:

bartyjoonyah:

astudyinlestrade:

yarndere:

onewingedeagle:

jesumonster:

veelafreckles:

Running over the hotel lobby, clutching a reflective halberd, cometh Veela! And he gives a low cry:

“I’m going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!!”

Prowling out of the tundra, carrying buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Jessica! And she gives a low howl:

“I’m going to smash you until you acquire caulrophobia, and trade you for a candy bar!!!”

(just for the record, caulrophobia isn’t a word. Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns…)

Running along the tarmac, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Sare! And she gives an ominous bellow:

“This one’s for you, mom! You are made of meat and I am very hungry!!”

Hark! Who is that, prowling over the cliffs! It is Rin, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh:

“I’m seriously going to punch you until you scream like a banshee!!!”

Zang! Who is that, rampaging amidst the tundra! It is Rashmi, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a spectacular cry, her voice cometh:

“I’m going to brutalize you until you deflate!!!”

Sprinting through the wasteland, brandishing a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Amanda! And she gives a booming scream:

“I’m going to smack you until you deflate, and add a notch to my bedpost!!”

Striding along the hotel lobby, brandishing a meaty axe, cometh The Master! And he gives a gutteral howl:

“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I bring darkness and mayhem until everything has croaked!!”

Skulking on the icy wasteland, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Jessica! And she gives a spectacular scream:

“I’m going to smash you like it’s a new extreme sport!!!”

Skulking amidst the mini-mall parking lot, clutching a burning branch, cometh Pride1289! And she gives a gutteral cry:

“I’m going to bake your brains with the heat of my fury!”

Running along the mountains, attacking with an oversized scalpel, cometh Stella! And she gives a cruel cry:

“Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I bring darkness and mayhem like the world’s mightiest bad-ass!!”

Striding out of the terrain, brandishing a mighty sword, cometh Would-you-like-a-jelly-baby! And she gives a low bellow:

“I’m going to contort you so painfully, I will be high on life for years to come!!”

Yea, verily: Who is that, running amidst the wasteland! It is GRITS in Misery, hands clutching a burning branch! She screams gutterally:

“For the love of carnage and discord, I destroy all in my path faster than the super-flu!”

Prowling across the steppes, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Qthewetsprocket! And she gives a gutteral cry:

“I’m going to spackle you with wasabi!!”